Stop denying who you are
Hey smart human,
This week, I’ve been thinking about how much energy most smart people I know and work with on trying to be more ‘normal’.
Mind you, this isn’t usually a conscious effort.
It’s a very sneaky process that actually drives a lot of what they do.
Maybe the same is happening for you.
Maybe you’re working extremely hard to ‘earn’ your place in society.
To create a safe space for yourself.
So hard, that you need to compensate with things like excessive caffeine, alcohol, sugar, gaming, social media.
Maybe you’re actually ‘lying low’ so as not to stick out, and this is making you very, very bored - and exhausted in a different way.
Maybe you have ADHD and you’re trying to stick to a linear way of planning for the 100th time.
Maybe you’re autistic and are constantly denying your basic needs because they seem so ‘out there’ (believe me, I’ve been there).
Maybe you’ve tried everything to make your mind work in a ‘normal’, linear way - and concluded that you simply suck at being human - or at being WITH humans.
Whatever the symptoms are, the cause is usually this:
At some level, you do not believe you can safely be yourself, with your beautiful, not at all normal, brain.
With your specific needs, wants, and desires.
With your smart mind.
You believe that in order to be safe, you need to try and somehow fit in.
And no, I’m not denying that in some environments, that IS the safer option.
That this is a very clever coping strategy, especially if you’re not the one in power.
But you can’t live like this forever - it’s exhausting and it sucks all the joy out of you.
You have to stop denying who you are.
And the solution to this isn’t working on the symptoms.
Those things you don't like about yourself, the things you’ve read all the self development books about, tried to force yourself to change.
Can you stop eating sugar?
Work less?
Stick to a schedule?
Of course you can - for a while.
You’re smart, you’ve got great strength, courage and willpower.
But it’s not sustainable - because you’re not addressing your underlying discomfort at being different.
This is what you have to change.
You have to embrace your smart mind - everything that comes with it.
The good, the delightful and yes, also the ugly.
As always, it all starts with awareness.
Take an honest look at your life, and ask yourself: if NOBODY would notice me and my work, would I live, act, work in exactly the same way?
If the answer is a big ‘no’ then you know where you work is.
You want to find your way back to being in integrity with yourself.
Owning who you are - and living it out (no, not necessarily out loud).
It's the fastest way to a fulfilling, energising, joyful life.
And it can be intimidating - especially if you’ve had bad experiences in the past.
I can help you navigate those waters.
This is how:
First, I’ll help you get to know your own brain intimately. What it loves, what it hates, what it’s amazing at, as well as the things that fry it within five minutes.
Second: you’ll learn to accept and embrace it, reconnect with your inner purpose, and decide on your next goal.
Then I will show you how to work strategically WITH your brain so you can go after what you really want.
And last but not least: I will help you work through all the obstacles on your way (including those pesky things called emotions).
Sounds amazing?
It is.
Stop wondering why it is so hard for you to make the changes you want in your life, and get to work on the root cause: not unconditionally accepting your amazing brain, and learning to work with it - rather than against it.
Dm me, or use this link to book a free first zoom call: https://www.coachkramer.org/work-with-me
Have a wonderful weekend!
Else
a.k.a. Coach Kramer