Are false dichotomies tripping you up?
Aloha smart human!
This weekend, I want to invite you to think about false dichotomies you are entertaining in your life.
In non-philosophy speak: false dilemma's, or black and white thinking.
Your brain absolutely loves them.
Which makes sense, because it takes very little brain energy to divide the entire world up into two neat categories.
Black or White.
Good or Bad.
Success or failure.
Here are some examples of false dilemma's:
‘I can’t be ‘professional’ AND have fun at work.’
‘I can’t be courageous AND afraid.’
‘I can’t grieve the loss of a loved one AND feel joy in the moment.’
‘I can’t be happy with where I am right now AND want to change my life.’
And, one of the biggest and most insidious ones:
‘I can’t make money AND do something I love.’
There’s another reason our brain loves these false dichotomies.
They paralyse us.
They scare us into indecision, because it seems like we have to pick either one or the other, and that usually feels awful.
But is that even true?
Nope. It’s a massive lie.
You can be courageous AND feel a lot of anxiety or fear.
You can speak in front of a very large group of people because you have something to share with them they really need to hear, whilst having heart palpitations, sweaty armpits and lord knows what else.
(I actually suspect that many of the anxious humans are the more courageous ones on this planet).
You can be professional AND have fun at work.
Professionalism isn’t wearing a suit (unless that’s what you love). It’s showing up in your power, your expertise, in integrity, in service.
You can make money AND do things you love.
If what you love is lying on the beach in your bikini whilst reading the latest book on Quantum Physics it may take a while to find a business model to support that. You may need an intermediary plan to support your transition to the beach. But that doesn’t mean it’s not possible.
Life isn’t black and white. It’s very nuanced - that’s what makes it so interesting.
So when you feel stuck around something, a decision you want to make for example, ask yourself:
Am I stuck in black and white thinking?
And if so, what are all the grey areas in between waiting to be discovered?
That in between space is your way out of your paralysis, thought loops, self-flagellation.
It’s where the magic is.
It’s where you can come alive.
Enjoy hunting for those false dichotomies and finding that space.
Have an amazing weekend,
Else
P.S. If you want to learn more about black and white thinking check out these two podcast episodes: