How to go from fault-finding to solution-seeking
Photo by Eunice Lituañas on Unsplash
Hello there smart human!
I've been doing heaps of breakthrough sessions over the past week - these are 45-minute single coaching sessions in which I help people past a block.
What stood out for me when looking at those sessions from a broader perspective, is how many people have their brains in the wrong place.
They are obsessing about all the things - not just one, not just two, no ALL the things - they haven't achieved yet.
And it makes sense from a problem-solving perspective - you haven't sold the book, made the money, got the job, lost the weight.
So you look at all the ways in which you fall short.
You compare yourself to other people who DO succeed at the thing you're trying to do.
You ask yourself questions like:
why isn't this working for me?
what has gone wrong?
is this even possible for someone like me?
The result?
You feel miserable.
And your brain starts to find even more ways in which you're 'failing'.
And then you wonder why you're blocked.
Why you can't make any headway towards your goal.
Why you can't figure it out.
Here's why: your brain is in fault-finding-mode.
You want it in solution-finding-mode instead.
So how do you do that?
By honouring and celebrating all the things you have achieved.
All the steps you have taken towards your goals.
All the money you have made (even if it's only 1 dollar).
Now when I point this out to people, it's usually met with some resistance.
They don't feel like celebrating anything at all - they feel awful and want to fix it by finding the magic key that solves all their problems.
And this is exactly what keeps them stuck.
You first want to remind yourself how good you already are at:
figuring things out
finding solutions
making money
or whatever it is you're trying to get better at.
Then you start problem-solving from that place - from what you can do, instead of what you can't.
This weekend, give this a try.
Celebrate something you did today, this week, this month, this quarter, this year, this decade.
Notice how you feel - and what this opens up for you.
And then remember to use celebration as a tool whenever you need to switch from fault-finding to solution-finding.
Have an amazing weekend,
Else a.k.a. Coach Kramer
P.S. I have an entire podcast episode on the importance of celebrating for your mental health and well-being, check it out via this link or on your favourite podcast app.
P.S.2. Looking for a coach to help you reconnect with your amazingness and do what you deeply desire? I have some one-on-one slots opening up in August - send me a DM to learn what working together could look like.