If you’re so smart, why can’t you do this simple thing?
If I had to boil my coaching philosophy for smart humans down to a couple of sentences it would run something like this:
Step 1: Accept yourself - your body, mind, emotions; all of it.
Step 2: Accept where you’re at with your life right now.
Step 3: Figure out your next steps.
Step 4: Design your life so that you can to take them.
Step 5: Get - and keep - moving whilst having a shit ton of fun and reminding yourself of step 1 and 2, until you’re back at step 3.
Rinse and repeat.
It sounds pretty simple - but it’s not.
Especially when you’ve been socialized to think that you should just try harder to make your brain work in a ‘normal’ manner.
That you should be grateful, rather than bored and frustrated.
And that you should focus on making other people feel happy, rather than yourself.
A lot of my clients come to me with the question ‘What’s wrong with me?’
What’s wrong with me that I can’t seem to plan or schedule?
What’s wrong with me that I get bored with most jobs after 3 months?
What’s wrong with me that I can’t understand office politics?
Feel free to insert your own variation on this theme - there are many.
What they’re actually asking, often without realizing it, is this:
IF I’M SO SMART, WHY CAN’T I BE MORE NORMAL?
Which is such a mean question to ask of yourself if you have not so normal mind.
I can’t iterate this enough: THERE IS NOTHING WRONG WITH YOU.
You do not need to be fixed.
You need to figure out what resources you need to be you and thrive.
So next time you notice yourself asking ‘what’s wrong with me?’ take notice and replace it with a much more useful question:
What do I need?
What do I need to finish this project?
What do I need to enjoy this job more?
What do I need to feel more energized around other people?
What do I need to thrive?
I talk about this more in-depth on this week’s podcast, which you can find here:
But for now, this weekend I want you to start noticing where and when you are making very unreasonable demands of yourself.
The demand that you be more ‘normal’.
You’re not.
That’s the starting point - accept it.
Stop attacking yourself for being you - and start feeling what it is like to be you instead.
Teaser alert: it can be pretty freaking amazing.
Have a gorgeous weekend,
Else a.k.a. Coach Kramer