The best way to lasting change? Assume you’re already perfect

Hey Smart Human,

We’re almost halfway through January.

The excitement and dopamine around the changes you want to make for this year are starting to wear off.

It’s becoming harder to say ‘no’ to whatever you’re trying to quit, and say ‘yes’ to whatever you want to do instead.

To take the daily actions towards your goals.

So now what?

Do you willpower through?

Give yourself a pep talk?

Kick your own butt - or get someone else to kick it for you?

You could, for sure.

But my experience is that lasting change is seldom achieved by treating yourself as a weak-willed human that needs to be disciplined.

Through reinforcing that you cannot be trusted to do what’s right for you.

If that’s the assumption you’re operating on, then you’ll have to keep kicking your own butt until there’s not much of a butt left.

I propose a radical alternative.

Assume you’re already perfect.

Yup. Perfect as you are.

You’re a perfect human being right here, right now.

And resourceful to boot.

Now what?

Working from that assumption - what do you want to do?

How do you want to treat yourself?

What changes do you want to make, and why?

And how can you support yourself in making them?

This weekend, should you notice yourself ‘falling off the wagon’, take a pause.

Because here isn’t a wagon.

There’s nothing to fall off of.

There’s just you, a smart, perfect, human, figuring out how to make some changes.

When you start from that space - and really feel into it - what do you want to do?

What’s your next step?

Maybe it’s just to feel some emotions first - before you do anything else.

And then check-in with yourself and ask what would feel good right now - and also a week, a month, a year from now?

You know what to do - and it’s so much easier to love yourself to doing it.

Have a perfect weekend,

Else a.k.a. Coach Kramer