Those pesky things called feelings

One of the best things I do for my mental health is meditate every day.

One of my least favourite things about that is the feelings that come up.

There I sit, in my comfy chair (yeah, I don't do the meditation cushion thing), and all of a sudden I'll feel sad. Or scared. Or frustrated.

I have opinions about my feelings.

A lot of opinions.

I think I'm not supposed to feel sad, or anxious, or afraid, or frustrated.

That this means that something has gone wrong - that I need to fix something.

'Sadness? OMG - what's wrong - why am I sad? What do I need to fix? Which wrong turn did I take in my life?'

And this is how, when I don't manage my mind, I create a shit ton of surplus suffering.

Simply by making myself wrong for feeling negative emotions.

Which, by the way, is very understandable in a world which programmes us to think we need to be happy 100% of the time.

It starts when we're kids, and crying.

'Oh, don't cry! Here's some candy!'

And it continues as we grow up, into our adulthood.

'You should be over this by now.'
'I can't believe you got so angry.'
'Does this seriously still scare you?'

On and on it goes.

The core message:

'Please do not have negative emotions - they make us all feel very uncomfortable.'

Instead, please consume.

Eat.
Drink.
Buy.

Binge on 'entertainment'.
News.
Social Media.

Please don't feel those feelings - and if you do, please don't share.

Our obsession with happiness has created a massive disconnect.

Between us and our true self - and between us and other humans.

It creates loneliness, depression, addiction.

Simply because we think we're not supposed to feel negative emotions.

One of the best things I learned during coach training AND meditation practice is that this is not at all true. And that all I need to do is to simply allow them.

They're there anyway - and they're always fleeting.

So this weekend, when you're feeling 'off', instead of arguing with reality, try allowing your emotions.

Get curious about them.

Observe them.

And yes, this may result in physical things happening - like salt water leaking from your eyes.

Not a problem.

Trust me - it's so much better than the constant holding down, pushing away, hiding even from yourself what you really feel.

If this is the work you need to do, but it scares the hell out of you, you don't need to do it alone.

I can help you do this in a safe way that doesn't freak out your brain.

Book a free exploratory session to talk about what working with me can look like: https://calendly.com/else-kramer/explore

And please, in addition to allowing space for your own emotions, make room for those of others.

Are they sad?
Are they mad?
Are they scared?

Tell them that makes perfect sense: they're a human, living in a crazy world.

And then give them the space to feel whatever it is they need to feel.

Have a beautiful weekend,

Else
a.k.a. Coach Kramer