Episode 18 - Three Secrets of Successful Goal Setting
In this follow-up to last week's Episode on Goal Setting, I take you to the three ingredients that are usually missing when people set goals:
Feelings
Obstacles
Small steps
In this Episode, you'll learn
how to tap into your feelings to check whether you're setting the right goal
how to start feeling into your goal and realising it in your life on a daily basis
how to find and plan for obstacles
why it's important to break it down into small, doable chunks
Together with Episode 17, this gives you a complete recipe for goal setting - now it's up to you. Set those goals and go after them - with LOVE rather than self-hatred.
Full Transcript
Episode 18 - Three Secrets of Successful Goal Setting
Welcome to this episode of the managing your smart mind podcast with Master Certified Coach Else Kramer, a.k.a. Coach Kramer.
Last week I talked about the biggest mistakes people make in goal setting. Here’s a quick refresher:
Using goal setting to feel good in the moment, rather than actually achieve things
Using goal setting to beat yourself up
Not having specific goals
Not having juicy goals (not knowing your why)
Not committing
In this week's episode I’ll take you through the three missing ingredients that most people skip when they’re setting goals.
First ingredient: Feelings.
These are essential to goal setting - AND to achieving the goals you set.
You may think feelings are kind of vague and undefinable, but you couldn’t be more wrong. Your feelings are actually an amazing compass to your true desires and how to get to where you want to be.
Using your feelings helps you decide whether a goal is right for you so much faster than making long lists of pros and cons.
So there’s two ways we use feelings in goal setting.
First one, to check whether this is actually a goal we WANT.
Sometimes it can be something we think we SHOULD want, because family, friends, society, etc. have made us believe that.
So if you have a goal, think about it, and then check in how it feels in your body.
If it doesn’t register at all, it’s probably not something you want to pursue.
If it completely freaks you out, paralyzes you, raises your blood pressure etc - it’s probably too far outside your comfort zone, and in your terror zone instead. Try adjusting it a little.
If it makes you feel excited or inspired or enthusiastic, AND a bit nervous, anxious, stressed: perfect.
You want to find that sweet spot where you’re challenged enough, inspired enough, AND can still keep moving towards your goal without dying from anxiety.
The second way to use feelings in goal setting is to start realizing your goal right now, right here.
Think about a big goal you want to achieve in the next 6-12 months.
It could be to make more money, have more time to do what you love, create a healthy cash flow for your business, get fit, etc.
Just pick whatever comes to mind, don’t overthink it.
Ready?
OK.
Now imagine 6-12 months have passed and you’ve achieved your goal.
Visualize it.
Live in it for a couple of minutes.
And then answer this massively important question:
How will you feel when you’ve achieved your goal?
Because this is what you’re actually after.
It’s not the money, time, travel, or health per se.
It’s how it will make you feel.
Free.
Calm.
Safe.
Inspired.
Empowered.
Fulfilled.
What are the feelings you will have once you achieve that big goal?
Write them down (unless you’re driving or operating heavy machinery of course).
You may have to dig a little bit to find them - so here’s an example to inspire you.
Let’s say one of my goals is to get hired by the LEGO group to design and deliver an in-company leadership coaching program for them.
Now I could immediately start creating my action plan, work out all the details, etc.
But then I’d be skipping the most important step: asking myself how I think it will make me feel to achieve this goal.
So how will I feel when LEGO has hired me to design and deliver a program for them?
Inspired - to have been hired and to have been able to work with one of my favorite brands tickles me no end
Fulfilled - I feel so fulfilled that I made this happen and that I’m helping people at LEGO be even better leaders
Significant - I love that I am having a positive impact on these people AND the people they lead, and the stuff they bring out into the world
Proud - I’ve done something I would have considered pretty hard (if not almost impossible), I’ve had to grow as a coach and a human being, and I’ve created something very valuable.
So I want to achieve this goal so I can feel inspired, fulfilled, significant and proud.
How can I use that information, that list of feelings, towards achieving my goal?
By finding ways to feel that way right now, today, and every step along the way.
What am I already doing that makes me feel inspired, fulfilled, significant and proud?
And how can I start doing that, and thus FEELING it more, on a daily basis?
That is one of the best ways to go after your goal.
By finding ways to be the person who’s achieved it, to feel the same feelings, even if, right now, they’re caused by something else.
Want to have more money?
Find ways in which you already have lots.
Want to travel more to be inspired?
Notice all your daily inspirations - and how you can create even more.
And you want to create your goal plan FROM THOSE SPECIFIC FEELINGS.
Not from lack, urgency, inadequacy, inferiority.
From abundance, inspiration, fulfillment, pride.
Tap into them when you start writing your game plan.
Second ingredient: Obstacles.
The second ingredient people forget about are obstacles.
Once you start going after your goal, you’ll meet lots of obstacles on the way.
This is inevitable, this is exactly what is going to make you grow.
So you need to expect and PLAN for them.
Instead of just writing all the steps you need to take towards your goal, you also want to make a list of ALL the obstacles you can think of that will trip you up.
All the ways your brain is going to try and stop you from doing something new.
All the ways life, the world, and everything can get in the way.
All the things you need to source, figure out, etc. - that may take longer or be harder than you expect.
They need to be an integral part of your plan.
What could get in the way of me being hired by the LEGO group?
My fear of rejection
Giving up if I don’t succeed at the first try
Not valuing myself and my work enough
Not knowing the right person to reach out to
Etc.
Once you have a list of obstacles, you can then add them to your action plan - together with a strategy to overcome them.
Third Ingredient: Small, doable steps.
Your goal may definitely stretch you, but the STEPS need to be doable.
Otherwise it will be way too easy for your brain to give up in the moment.
Don’t make the journey to your goal consist of five massive Mount Everests you have to scale.
Divide it up into small doable chunks, traveling from camp to camp if you like.
Don’t write: reach out to 100 people.
Instead, write: reach out to 5 people per day (or whatever sounds doable to you).
Err on the easy side - you can always do more if you feel like it, but goals shouldn’t completely drain you and wear you out, especially if they’re long term goals.
And don’t worry if you have no idea how to plan out the later part of a long-term goal.
Of course you don’t - you have no idea what exactly is going to happen.
Just take a guess, you can always adjust it later, but don’t get bogged down in ‘I don’t know what is going to happen in month 5 and I need to figure it out!
So, to recap, here’s the recipe for successful goal setting:
Make it juicy
Get specific
Find the feelings
Find the obstacles - and ways to overcome them
Plan it all out into small actionable steps
Put those on the calendar
Commit - and go do
Is it easy? No.
Is it an amazing way to grow, have fun, learn new things and have an impact? Hell yeah!
You WANT to set goals - and now you know how. So go do it.
And if you would like expert support in setting and pursuing juicy goals that work for you and your brain, I can help. DM me on LinkedIn, Instagram or Facebook to learn how, or send me an email via podcast@elsekramer.com.
Thank you for listening to the Managing the Smart Mind Podcast, until next week, bye!