Episode 35 - Smart People Problems - Optimising for the Wrong Things
Does your smart mind love to optimise?
Do you use it to find the best deals, get the most done, be insanely efficient and get the absolute most out of your trips?
Then you're probably very good at optimising for time, money, and other traditional resources.
But you may be forgetting to optimise for the most important thing in the world: YOU.
Check out this week's Episode to learn how I realised how far my over-optimisation took me away from experiencing a fun trip and what you can do to stop over-optimising, and start living.
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Full Episode Text
Episode 35 - Optimising for the wrong things
Welcome to this episode of the managing the smart mind podcast with Master Certified Coach Else Kramer, a.k.a. Coach Kramer.
Hey, smart humans. At the time of recording, I am actually preparing for a super fun trip to northern Italy. So good. And this made me aware of a pattern I have that I also see with a lot of my clients, which is something I call over-optimising or optimising for the wrong thing.
And this is what it looks like with regard to my trip. And let me know if you recognise this. So, of course, I'm super excited to go. As you may know by now, I am obsessed with art. So we're going first to Ravenna, and then to Milan. in Ravenna, we're going to see the mosaics in Milan, we're gonna see Da Vinci's Last Supper, lots of other amazing art, the drama, all the things. So good. And of course, really looking forward to some amazing food as well. So what happens to my smart mind is like, Okay, we want to make the most of this trip, right? So I'm going to prepare, I'm going to read about the things I'm going to see, I am going to create an itinerary, maybe even a list of highlights, watch videos on art history, and basically go all out on making this an incredible holiday, which is fine, right, and it's fun. But there is a risk of me, over optimising optimising for the wrong thing. And I think this comes from always being interested in so many things. And I think this goes for all of you listening, we have so many things we could do, we are interested in we want to pursue that we always experienced a massive lack of time. And we want to cram in as much as is humanly possible, and actually more than is humanly possible. So this is what tends to happen with my trips. And I become a bit unrealistic, how many museums it is possible to actually, you know, visit in a meaningful way in one day. Add to that the fact that I've just discovered that the town we're actually staying in overnight on the way to Italy, has a railway museum with a curly a Lego exhibition. And you know, of course, I have to go there too, right. And if I give into this, which I've done in the past, basically, this is how it goes, I will have an incredible list of things to see. And I will go see them. And then around 7pm I will just be completely finished down for a day. I won't be able to do anything, not able to even like have a meaningful conversation. I just need to lie down, you know underneath the blanket and be left alone in a dark room. And that is not the best way to spend your evenings, especially if you're not travelling alone. Especially not in Italy. Right. So it's instead of optimising for the most possible museums in a day, like on a trip I want to take into account more than that I wanted to take into account not just how much can I possibly cover how much can I possibly see? Know what is the best was most joyful for me with my human body and limited capacity? All right, so I have to get on with my husband the most amazing fun trip and I actually get to be there for it and not be exhausted or become very annoyed or have to shut down or, you know, get dysregulated all the things. So, for me, it means taking a step back, and then sort of doing a sanity check. And I sometimes need help with this. Let's be honest, I need help from my family, who then restrict me to maybe two museums in a day, right? And they just whatever, like, but
we have more time. Yeah, we have more time, but you will be insufferable. And also to be awful for you. So no, it's just a no. Yes, it's physically possible. But you don't want the result you're going to create by going to see so many things by optimising for the amount of museums. And this is what I see with so many of my clients. They optimise for so many things, right being the best, it's amazing. Doing something incredibly fast, excelling at work at their degrees, and even at home, right, they optimise for being super efficient. So when they walk to the kitchen, they always make sure to take something with them and bring it back. But they forget that they're human. And they're not some kind of crazy efficiency machine, right, that constantly has to produce. And if you live in that way, life becomes pretty awful. Because you're constantly putting so much pressure on yourself to make the most of everything that you don't get to enjoy it. Because you're again, optimising for the wrong thing. You're not optimising for you. So, I want you to quick inventory in your mind, right? Where is this happening for you? Where are you being this evil, kind of industrial revolution, slave driver, boss to your so we like work harder, create more, create more podcasts, be better at work, create more clients run faster, do the laundry more efficiently. I mean, seriously, I have methods of folding, right? I even optimise that. And sometimes it's fun. It's a fun game, right? And it totally can be that but when it sort of goes out of the fun zone into the have to do this sort of pressured have to be productive zone, then you want to stop because it takes all the joy out of life. And this is also a massive contributor to burnout. Okay, so take take a moment and think about your life. And think about where are you optimising first of all, may not even be for the wrong things. Are you trying to take the fastest way to work? Right? Do you know how to like take the secret shortcuts or the best like secondary roads to get there faster? Good for you. Right? But this is what I mean. This is like, constantly your brains like optimising? How can I do this better, faster, more efficiently? Do you have ways of maybe shopping more efficiently? Or maybe in your mind is more efficiently like my mind is obsessed still with sales? I think this is also like in ADHD dopamine thing. And sometimes I can get into these weird loops where I think Oh, but there, it's cheaper now to buy this thing. And then this other things are also on sale. And I'm going to need that like in three months times are better at that turn. And before I know it, I have spent like 30 minutes on a website. I didn't even want to be on ordering stupid things like tissues and toilet paper. Instead of having fun, and maybe saving, you know, 10 euros is costing me my life. It's insane. Right? So there, I think I'm optimising for money. And I am but again, it's very expensive, because, you know, I could have done something much better with that time. So you could be optimising for time, right? You could be trying to do things faster. And that could actually put so much pressure on you that you don't feel good anymore. You could be optimising for money, but that actually could be costing you time. Right? So again, optimising for the wrong thing. You could be optimising for getting as much experience crammed into your trip as possible. Again, not optimising for the most fun holiday So where are you doing this in your life? Notice, right notice where you're doing this. And then consider doing something else. Letting go of that desire to cram as much into your day, your trip your life as possible, right, trying to be frugal in the wrong way trying to be efficient in a way that really doesn't serve you.
And once you've noticed that and you want to change it, there may be some discomfort, because you're so used to doing this. And you may even be using it to feel like a good citizen, right to kind of justify your existence on the planet planet, like at least I'm being super efficient about things. At least when I go for a walk, I pick up the trash or whatever it is you're doing. Be very careful of that, right? Because you don't do not have to justify your existence, full stop. And you definitely do not have to justify your existence by being productive, very important to remember. So instead, practice doing something which isn't productive, or efficient. And that may be very, very hard for you. Your brain might be like, I don't want to do that. Why would I want to do something that is not productive? What is the use of that, and if that's what you're thinking, you specifically need to do this right and try this. So go for a walk, without listening to podcast or a course right or trying to learn a new language. When you walk upstairs, do not take anything with you, that needs to be taken upstairs. Right, just walk on the stairs, maybe feel the staircase underneath your feet, all the things when you're going on a trip. Don't spend all your time like me studying the history, Wikipedia, etc, etc. Right, but also spend some time maybe with the person you're travelling with, or the people you're meeting, and not all the time up in your brain smell the smells right in the places you visit. See the colours use, activate all your senses really be present. Instead of just being up in your brain, optimising your learning your experience, all the things. And when you do that, you'll open yourself up to a much better experience of life. And interestingly, time may even seem to slow down. That's its magic, right? So we're constantly stressing out running around trying to save time by doing more. When you stop optimising, for example, you know, we're doing more things in less time, then you actually experience time slowing down. And when you stop optimising for money, you actually experience how rich you are, is incredible. So on the flip side of optimising that actually seems a way to increase your time, your money, right your the value of your experience. If you stop doing that, you will actually increase your time, your experience of time. Your feeling of aliveness all the things right, so please start being aware. Right. Am I optimising again? Am I doing this again? Am I trying to cram too much in too little time? am I forcing myself to be productive, right? And then don't do it. Instead, play with your senses. Be present, see what other games you can play that necessarily aren't necessarily useful. And see what that brings you. When it comes to being alive, and enjoying this incredible gift we have of being on this weird planet with all the things give it a try. Let me know how it goes. And I'll report back on my trip to Italy where I will get to practice this same thing. Have an amazing week. Bye bye
would you love to experience what it is like to be really free? I can help DME on LinkedIn, Instagram or Facebook to learn how you can work with me. Or send me an old fashioned email on podcast at At Elsa grammar.com Thank you so much for listening to the managing the Smartline podcast. I love that at the time of recording this there are smart humans listening in 79 countries can you believe it? I really appreciate all of you. So do send me any questions or requests for topics you have. And if you enjoy that podcast, I'd love for you to give it a five star review so other smart humans can find it. Thank you
Else a.k.a. Coach Kramer
Want to learn how to create a life that is fun AND fulfilling? I can help you. DM me on LinkedIn, Instagram or Facebook to learn how you can work with me, or email me via podcast@elsekramer.com.
Thank you for listening to the Managing the Smart Mind Podcast, I love that at
the time of recording this there are smart humans listening in 79 countries! I really appreciate you - do send me any questions or requests for topics you have. And if you enjoy the podcast I’d love for you to give it a five-star review so other smart humans can find it - thank you!