Episode 5 - Doing Hard Things
In this episode I talk about how smart people can stay in their comfort zone even though on the outside it looks like they’re achieving amazing growth.
When everyone gives you a standing ovation if you’re just ‘winging it’ it can become a habit to do just that, score a quick dopamine hit, move on to the next thing.
In the long run this sets you up for massive disillusion, because you never get to experience real growth.
You have to start doing things that are hard for YOU - and they may look very different than you think.
Resources
Full Episode Transcript
Welcome to the managing your smart mind podcast with me, Else Kramer, a.k.a. Coach Kramer.
Now today I am celebrating because I have just heard that after six very intense months of training, I am now a Master Certified Coach.
This is one of the hardest things I have done in my entire life, I think it’s on a par with getting my black belt in aikido and bringing a baby into this world.
It required me not only to work hard, but also to be extremely vulnerable, to risk failure on a weekly basis.
I had to be open to falling flat on my face in front of a group of peers - over and over again.
And I learned SO much.
Not just about being a masterly coach - although that too, of course, is part of Mastercoach training.
But I learned about the importance of doing HARD THINGS.
For a lot of us gifted humans it can be quite easy to coast in certain areas of our life. We tend to get work done in a lot less time, learn new things faster, solve problems more quickly, etc.
We don’t always have to work as hard at things as a lot of other people.
And this may make us stay in our comfort zone. Especially because to other people it may look like we’re displaying massive growth.
Doing hard things is massively important for smart humans.
It is what makes you come alive.
It is incredibly exciting.
And it is fabulously fulfilling.
Am I proud that I am now certified? Sure. The achievement is nice, it makes me stand out in the coaching world, and I get a pretty piece of paper with my name on it.
But what I am much more proud of is that I was willing to do all the hard things it took to get there.
Of the incredible amount of work I put in.
And that I was able to do it without hating on myself, without constant pressure.
Master coach training is a bit like getting into a washing machine - voluntarily. Your world is constantly turned upside down, and your challenge is to stay calm and centered and do your thing.
I took a massive risk even in applying, because a lot of people get rejected.
I remember constantly checking my mail for the acceptance letter.
I REALLY wanted this so badly. I had so much skin in the game.
And then, getting in, I had to take even more risks.
Like coaching in front of my peers and having instructors interrupt me every other sentence to show me how I could be doing it better.
Getting surprise assignments thrown at me which required me to put myself out there with workshops and webinars when I thought I wasn’t ready at all.
To open myself up to failure - again and again and again.
It was incredible. And it made me realize how much I had been playing in my comfort zone without even realizing it.
This is something a lot of smart humans do.
Because let’s face it, we’re GOOD at a lot of things other people find hard.
Creating a presentation at the last minute - and other people thinking it’s amazing.
Acing the test with very little effort.
in the spaces our brain excels in.
As a child, you may have been praised because you were so smart, so good at a specific subject, creative, etc.
And then your smart brain may have thought that this is who you are - that getting high grades or doing things other people can’t do is what defines you as a human being.
This is a very dangerous road to go down.
Not only does it make you extremely vulnerable and a hostage to your results.
It also makes you very risk-avoidant.
Yes, you will do hard things - but you will do them in arenas and in ways your brain KNOWS you can excel.
The result: you feel bored and trapped.
Every time someone praises you, you get a nice dopamine hit.
But when there is no praise, your confidence crumbles.
It’s like a drug addiction.
Because you equate achievement with self-worth.
So I want you to take an honest look at your life and ask yourself: am I really doing HARD things?
Or am I quite comfortably sitting in my comfort zone?
If it’s the latter, you may feel an underlying sense of frustration and lack of fulfilment.
This is something you can change.
By intentionally doing HARD things.
Things that you DON’t know you’ll be successful at ahead of time.
Things that risk failure and even ridicule.
Things that take you out of your comfort and into your growth zone.
What is one step you can take today, even if it’s a little one, inside that growth zone?
Figure it out - and take it.
I promise you, yes, it will be massively scary, but you will feel amazing afterwards.
If you’re ready to step out of that comfort zone, I can help you.
Reach out to me via my website, coachkramer.org, or send me a message on LinkedIn.
If there is a specific topic you’d love to see covered on this podcast, or someone you’d love to see interviewed, please let me know on: podcast@elsekramer.com.
And if you liked this episode I’d love for you to leave a review so more people can find the podcast and learn to manage their smart mind.