Episode 52 - Using Neuroplasticity to Change your Self-Concept
Did you know that you can change the way you think about yourself?
In this week's Episode I show you how to
uncover the self-sabotaging labels that you are subconsciously applying to yourself
replace them with new ones
find evidence to support them
rewire your neural pathways to support your new, more supportive labels
If you can, come to this Episode with a piece of paper and something to write with, because there will be a few prompts to play with.
Resources mentioned in this Episode:
Episode 11 - Clearing the Clutter in Your Brain
Episode 42 - How to change your thoughts
Episode 43 - Solidified Stories
Full Episode Text
Episode 52 - Using Neuroplasticity to Change Your Self-Concept
Welcome to this episode of the managing the smart mind podcast with Master Certified Coach Else Kramer, a.k.a. Coach Kramer.
Hello there smart human!
This week I want to talk to you about changing your idea of yourself, i.e. your self-concept.
Most of us, throughout our lives, have at different times attached different labels to ourselves.
Now when I say ‘label’ I don’t mean diagnoses, such as ADHD or Autism, which I don’t see as a label.
I’m talking about labels like introverted, high-achiever, undisciplined, reliable, etc.
Now if the labels you identify with serve you - great. By all means, keep them!
But if they’re negative, they will limit you in what you can experience and achieve in the world.
They cause self-sabotage, avoidance, and playing small.
So if you have those kinds of labels you definitely want to consider changing your self-concept.
What is your self-concept, anyway?
Let’s answer that question through a quick exercise.
If it’s safe for you to do so, I want you to pause the podcast answer the following question. Don’t overthink it, just blurt out whatever comes up:
I’m a person who is:
Did you do it? Then you have a nice first list of labels.
When I did this exercise, this is what came up:
I’m a person who’s brilliant, disorganised, overly ambitious, loving, all over the place, clumsy, intense, shy, bad with money.
These are some of the things I believe to be true about me.
Well, the brilliant and loving and intense I don’t have a problem with - I fully embrace that I am those things.
But disorganised, overly ambitious, all over the place, clumsy, shy, bad with money - those I am not particularly attached to.
And if I don’t actively get to work to change these basic beliefs about myself, my brain will keep looking for evidence both in my past and my present, that I AM disorganised, shy, etc.
If I keep that up long enough it will become a self-fulfilling prophecy and a solidified story (more info on those in Episode 43).
The great news is that you can actually change this quite easily.
Well, it does take a bit of work - but you won’t need a neurosurgeon: you can simply change the way your brain thinks about you.
Now if you’re familiar with mindset work you probably already know how important it is to find your underlying beliefs about yourself and change them. I explain how you do this at length in Episode 42 so if you haven’t checked that one out yet I strongly advise you to give it a listen.
However, simply modifying your existing beliefs is only the first step of the process.
Even if I modify:
“I’m shy”
Into
“I can feel confident in the presence of other people”
or something similar,
my brain is still wired to pull out the old ‘files’ of my shyness showing up in social situations.
The missing piece is to direct your brain to a NEW archive to pull information from: the archive with the evidence that you are totally OK being around other people.
Going back to my example, right now my brain it’s primed to find evidence of how I am shy.
Which means I have to retrain it to find evidence of how I am confident with other people instead.
And to do this I have to look at my past with fresh eyes, and find all the situations in which I WAS confident around other people in social situations, which my brain is currently hiding from me because it’s working on the assumption that I am shy.
That dinner party at which I made everybody laugh.
The network meeting where I had deep and meaningful ocnversations with a couple of people.
The Clubhouse rooms where I raised my hand and spoke up.
The chats I have with random strangers on the tram.
My weekly Lunchclub meetings.
This is how you change your self concept.
First, find a label you no longer want to apply to yourself.
Second, make a list that proves the opposite of what you currently believe - and make it as long as possible.
Keep adding to it, because once you redirect your brain from its confirmation bias, you will start finding new evidence that you previously were unable to see.
Third, keep redirecting your brain towards that new list whenever it is triggered around this topic.
OK, time for another example.
Let’s use a label that a lot of smart humans, especially those with ADHD, including yours truly, apply to themselves: being bad with money.
Now I can find a LOT of evidence that I am bad with money (hello impulse buying, credit card debt, uncancelled subscriptions, etc.)
But I can also find heaps of evidence that I am amazing with money (hello real estate, coaching and training investments, savings account, etc.).
So I want to create a list of ALL the ways in which I am amazing with money and keep that on my desk for at least a week so that I can keep adding to it.
And then every time I am triggered to think about my self-concept with regards to money, I kind of yank my brain back from its default “You suck, I mean, taking four years to cancel your Adobe subscription? Seriously?” to my list, my ‘new archive’, that proves that I can actually be amazing with money.
This is not an instant transformation: you want to keep practising this until you’ve modified your self-concept or, in other words, you’ve created a solidified story that serves you: that you are pretty amazing when it comes to money management.
This, my smart friends, is how you make neuroplasticity work for you.
Now if you happen to have ADHD, you want to make sure you keep this exercise engaging and top of mind, because otherwise, you won’t keep up with it for long enough to see the results.
Create visual reminders and design a fun reward system that reinforces your new self-concept (how about dropping a coin in a jar every time you pull at your list and look at it, and a bonus coin for every thought you add).
And if all this seems fascinating to you, but you’re not even sure what exactly you believe about yourself that you’d like to change, then I have some prompts for you to get you going (BTW I also recommend checking out Episode 11: Clearing the Clutter in your Brain).
Grab a pen and a piece of paper and finish these sentences with as many words that come up in your brain:
“I often apologise for being too…”
“I regularly wish I were more/weren’t so…”
“If only I were more…”
“I would be making so much more money/have so much more fun/time/power if I were…”
Use these prompts to unearth those parts of your self-concept that don’t serve you - and start changing them around.
YOU get to decide how you want to be, play, and live on this amazing planet.
Have a fabulous week,
Else a.k.a. Coach Kramer
Ready to start using the full potential of that amazing smart mind of yours? I can help. DM me on LinkedIn, or Instagram to learn how you can work with me, or email me via podcast@elsekramer.com.
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