Episode 55 - What you need to do to heal your impatience, perfectionism, fear of failure, and lack of self-worth
This week, I share the secret to slowly and gently overcoming your perfectionism and fear of failure: start doing something you currently SUCK at.
Something that you cannot ‘hack’ with your smart mind.
Something creative, that involves skill.
Something that will cause you to be frustrated.
Something you cannot control.
You’ll learn what kind of things will help you do that - AND have fun in the process.
How to set it up so that in addition to failing and being frustrated, you will learn insanely valuable life skills over the next six months.
And I share my own creative project of choice - evolving around one of my favourite things.
Full Episode Text
Episode 55 - What you need to do to heal your impatience, perfectionism, fear of failure, and lack of self-worth
Welcome to this episode of the managing the smart mind podcast with Master Certified Coach Else Kramer, a.k.a. Coach Kramer.
Hello smart human!
Isn’t it delightful to be smart?
To learn new things super fast?
To make the most interesting connections, spot patterns no one else sees, ask the smartest questions?
Yes! Of course it is!
AND…you need to stop using your mind for only the things you are already incredibly good at.
The stuff you’re wired for.
But…your brain may mutter…aren’t we supposed to play to our strengths? Isn’t life hard enough as is?
Well yes. And yes, sometimes life is hard - but that’s got nothing to do with whether or not you should start playing outside your comfort zone.
And comfort zone isn’t even the right term here.
I want you to start playing outside your zone of excellence.
I want you to start doing something you currently SUCK at.
As in: you have little knowledge about it nor skills to brag about.
What I strongly suggest you start doing is something that you cannot ‘hack’ with your smart mind.
That doesn’t have a code you can crack.
Something creative, that involves skill.
Something that will cause you to be frustrated.
To fail - even if it’s only at a microscopic level.
Something you cannot control.
Something that will heal your perfectionism, your fear of failure, your lack of inherent self-worth and your impatience.
What things are those?
Things like learning to play an instrument.
Learning to draw - or to make pottery.
Surfing. Golf. Or any sport where the elements will mess with you, sabotage your game, turn it all upside down.
Gardening.
Writing fictions or poetry.
Woodworking.
Martial Art.
You probably get the idea.
And, if you have kids, this is the BEST thing you can do for them.
Make them do something where their brain is not going to make that much of a difference.
Does it have to be torture?
Of course not. Life’s WAY too short.
Pick something you massively enjoy.
Preferably something that will allow you to do more of what you want (like being outside, or making stuff with your hands, or getting fit).
You do get to use your smart mind to optimise your choices!
Pick a sport, creative or other endeavour - and make a scared pact with yourself.
That you will stick with this thing for at least six months.
Will you want to quit?
Hell yeah. A thousand times.
Will it be exhilarating, inspiring, delightful as well as frustrating?
Totally!
Will you learn insanely valuable life skills over those six months?
Guaranteed!
So decide what you’re going to do - and how often you’re going to do it.
This is not the type of goal where you want to decide on an end-goal: you’re going on an unpredictable, magical journey. That’s the whole point.
So your decision needs to be around the amount of time you’re going to spend doing this new ‘hard for your brain, good for your being’ thing every week.
And it’s only fair if I, as your coach, go first.
My creative journey is going to revolve around LEGO.
For the past 10 years I have focused mainly on building existing sets - not designing my own, or improvising with the bricks in front of me.
I’ve just looked on in awe at what other people were creating, and decided ‘I’ll never be able to do that’.
Humbug!
Of course I can create things with LEGO if I lower my insane standards.
So here is my public declaration and commitment.
From March until at least August of this year I will create at least three imperfect LEGO builds a week, no matter how small.
If you want to check out what I’m making follow me on Instagram: @elsekramer.
Now it’s your turn.
What do you desire to experience?
What do you want more of in your life?
And how can you turn that into a creative project, sport or other practice that will allow you to overcome your impatience, perfectionism, fear of failure, and so on?
Are you going to play around with Cyanotype (a lot of fun)?
Start growing your own capsicums?
Take up Urban Sketching?
Start horse riding?
Think on it for half an hour max - and then make a decision.
Commit and, if you’d like some accountability, let me know what you decide.
Have an incredibly inspiring week,
Else a.k.a. Coach Kramer
Are you ready to stop feeling unfocused, overstretched and disconnected? Then I can help. DM me on LinkedIn, or Instagram to learn how you can work with me, or email me via podcast@elsekramer.com.
Thank you for listening to the Managing the Smart Mind Podcast, I love that at
the time of recording this, there are smart humans listening in 93 countries! I really appreciate you - do send me any questions or requests for topics you have. And if you enjoy the podcast I’d love for you to give it a five-star review so other smart humans can find it - thank you!