Think you work better with deadlines? Then you may be a closet perfectionist
I used to think deadlines were my friend. That I just performed better under pressure.
But the game of procrastinating, pressure build-up and then crazy fast execution became exhausting. Not to mention that the, admittedly, fast execution usually also wasn’t the best I could do.
It wasn’t until I dove deeper into procrastination that I uncovered that my deadline-driven performance was actually a coping strategy to deal with my perfectionism.
I wanted to do everything so well (in other words, I was so terrified of making a mistake), that I first terrified myself into inaction.
And then, as the pressure and expectations of other built up, I terrified myself into deadline-driven action.
It’s like one of those Japanese Bamboo Water Things, a Shishi-Odoshi (yup, I found the name through Googling ‘Japanese Bamboo Water Thing).
There’s a buildup of water on the one end of the bamboo tube, until it reaches past the pivot point, and the bamboo drops down and empties the water out on the other end. (This, by the way, is one of my favourite framing devices in the epic fighting scene between The Bride and O-ren-Ishi in Kill Bill One).
Thus goes the dance between perfectionism and deadlines.
First, perfectionist-driven procrastination rules.
Until the pivot - when the deadline, the fear of not shipping, wins over the fear of not being good enough and you sprint your way to execution.
The high when you do deliver can be nice, but it’s an exhausting way to live and work so if you recognise this pattern check out this week’s podcast on perfectionism and how to combat it.
And this weekend, try to notice when you’re procrastinating on something and waiting on, or hoping for, external pressure to get you going.
Ask: what’s really going on here? What am I trying to avoid?
Maybe it’s just boredom, or having to do something you don’t want to.
In which case it’s totally up to you whether you feel like postponing (it is the weekend, after all), or giving yourself a friendly kick in the butt.
But if it’s something bigger, if it’s a stressful feeling, then you want to dig a bit deeper.
Because in that case your brain is probably desperately trying to hold you back because it somehow thinks it’s not safe to do the thing.
In that case: instead of trying to motivate yourself into motion, be kind.
Butt-kicking doesn’t work well with fear - it just makes it worse.
Get curious, and see if instead of pushing yourself to move forward, you can create safety first.
If you don’t know how to do that I give you three approaches in the podcast.
Trust me, if you’re anything like my clients you’re not procrastinating because you’re lazy - at least not most of the time.
You just have a human brain that wants to help you avoid uncomfortable emotions.
So that’s exactly where you want to go on purpose - to help you get out of the energy-draining procrastination-deadline dance.
Have a beautiful weekend,
Else a.k.a. Coach Kramer
P.S. If you’re ready to overcome your perfectionism forever I can help. Send me a DM or go to coachkramer.org to learn how you can work with me.