What would your life look like with less people pleasing?

If there's one thing that is massively challenging for my neurodivergent mind it's having a haircut.

There's so many sounds, lights, small-talk. It leaves me exhausted.

I try to avoid it for as long as possible, but last week I really had to go - and I decided to take my daughter along with me.

As we were both having our hair cut, I noticed that she met any attempts at small talk from her stylist with curt responses, or just plain silence.

She didn't smile, she didn't give friendly replies.

She just sat there quietly, and had her hair cut.

I, on the other hand, felt obliged to be nice. To keep the conversation going.

To appear friendly and pleasing.

So I chatted with my stylist, asked questions, tried to maintain a friendly smile all the time.

After all, it doesn't hurt to be 'nice', right?

Except it does.

Afterwards I was so overstimulated and exhausted that I had to take a nap.

My daughter? Not so much.

Lesson learned?

Less people pleasing.

When we're out of integrity with ourselves, being 'nice' ends up hurting us.

So, this weekend, I want you to take a look at how 'being nice' shows up in your life.

How often do you smile when you don't want to?

Say 'yes' when you want to say 'no'?

Accept things whilst grinding your teeth?

If you're like most humans, you probably do your fair bit of people pleasing.

It makes sense, because of the way your brain works.

But undermines your self-confidence, and is exhausting.

If you'd like to learn more about how this works, and what to do about it, check out my new podcast: Managing the Smart Mind.

Today's episode is all about People Pleasing - and how to stop doing it.

You can find it on Spotify or on my website, where I also host transcripts for those of you who love to scan.

And while you're at it, you may also want to check out Episodes 1 and 2 :

'What does being smart even mean'

and

'If you're so smart, why is life still hard?'

Have an amazing weekend,

Else a.k.a. Coach Kramer